In recent months, I have experienced as I watched from a distance, someone else’s life. In my thoughts, I am in a sort of very long trip that just will not seem to stop. And without ever having something taken-apart from innumerable cups of black/green tea to stay awake after many sleepless nights. Natural high, as it is also referred to as beautiful. It’s a strange thing; adrenaline. It is one of the most uncomfortable feelings that I know, because usually it is accompanied by a large dose of nerves. And that means; trembling knees, a lid that just will not stop vibrating and the Russian language that seems suddenly very difficult — and stuttering in a tearing rush talk included. But, I would not be archer if I was not slightly addicted to adrenaline. For how uncomfortable I feel, also when the nerves take over my body as much as I return to my bed would want to crawl on exciting moments, and how scary I find new things sometimes.
I hear you think; what the hell have you been up to, Irma?! Where you got such a kick out of it?! Well, the big story of it I will tell you soon, because I’m still in the middle of the whole adventure. A bit weird, I know. But seriously, there’s something I can tell already. And that is a lesson. Without lecturing or to sound like a smart ass, I want to share something. It may sound like an open door which I unceremoniously flick but bear with me. I do not know what possessed through me, but in the last few months I have a sort of ‘all or nothing’ feeling. And that means that I was attacked by a powerful force, which I had long not felt. And that was again the result that I no longer dreamed about the things I want, but suddenly, I added action, determination and motivation to my vocabulary. A giant step in the right direction, which I achieved in a personal goal and — perhaps more importantly — realized that your happiness really does lies in your own hands.
Nobody is going to make your dreams on a platter for you, no one can conjure that your dreams come true just like that, except you. You’re the only one who can choose to go the safe way, or to challenge yourself and show what you got. You are the boss of your own life! Without fear, without any doubts or uncertainties, and full of conviction in that what you want to achieve. If you go with that setting and full of positive thoughts go to work — it may just so happen that your dreams might start coming true. Thus. Grandma has spoken. 🙂
Illustration: Alessandra De Cristofaro